We were merely freshmen

For the Week of June 13, 2005
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Maxie is graduating from a school she didn't even attend and a whole posse of kids showed up at the hospital in cap and gown to cheer her on and present her with her diploma.

Things sure have changed since I graduated high school. Maxie is graduating from a school she didn't even attend and a whole posse of kids showed up at the hospital in cap and gown to cheer her on and present her with her diploma. I WENT to my high school and could barely make friends. All those months when we wondered where she was, Maxie was apparently enrolled in a private boarding school. You know, a private boarding school that doesn't have its OWN graduation ceremony, but sends the kids back home to their public schools to filter into existing graduation ceremonies. Oh wait, there is no such place.

As you can see, I caved in and watched a *little* NuMaxie, and she's really not bad. I just feel so disloyal to Robyn Richards when I watch NuMaxie I can't live with my conscience. I really can't stomach NuFelicia at first glance. When Maxie wondered where her Dad was, I wanted to tell her he's calling himself Nik over on the Bold and Beautiful fighting with Stephanie about Brooke. Speaking of Brookes, it made me laugh when Brook Lynn ran over and gave Maxie a big hug after she was asked her to pick up Maxie's diploma. As far as I know, Brooke and Maxie met a day ago, right? Why not ask Dillon who is her sister's boyfriend and someone she actually met before instead of a total stranger? Sometimes I wish I weren't so observant. It would be easier to watch GH if I had memory impairment like Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates. (I love that movie.)

I have another movie I have been thinking about this week, too as that freaky little Jodie girl who has befriended Michael has the same voice as the old lady in Poltergeist and I keep expecting the kid to say "Carol Ann! Walk towards the light!" So all of Sonny's high-tech surveillance and extra security measures that went into effect after the kidnapping, can't even keep a savvy 7 year old out of his compound and out of his house? Maybe she IS a poltergeist! I'm a little miffed to discover Dr. Thomas is a plant working for Alan. Maybe he used to work at Shadybrook where all shrinks can be bribed. Wouldn't it be a far more compelling and powerful storyline to watch Michael actually get therapy and take the necessary steps of healing a 9 year old who smothered someone to death would really have to go through to be at peace? Ah, but why dig in and actually write a decent story when you can instead just write another tale of manipulation and tricking this poor child into trusting yet another person who is betraying him?

I may seem crabby tonight, but it's all an act. I am delighted. Tomorrow I leave for vacation, so warning - no Two Scoops from me next weekend, as I will be on the road and unable to catch GH. I may have a fill-in Guest Host, but as of now, unconfirmed. Thankfully I have Tivo, so I can come home and watch a 10 hour marathon of GH at my leisure. It will only take me 5 if I fast forward past all the commercials, and any scenes with NuCarly screeching at someone. Well, she's married to Lorenzo now. I would pay ABC my own weekly salary to get Tamara Braun back just for 20 minutes to re-shoot the wedding scenes with the Carly we have been waiting to see with Lorenzo ever since he taught her to play backgammon when he kidnapped her. I know I shouldn't root for the kidnapper to win her heart, but I have been. Past tense. Old Carly. Dear ABC, if you ever read my column by some odd stretch of the imagination, let me tell you I am not alone in my despair over your recast. In the past few weeks I have gotten a giant pile of "I Loathe NuCarly" letters. But hey, 3 people actually said they liked her.

Something GH got exactly right this week was Lucky and Elizabeth's venture into cohabitation. They are in love, they have been crazy about each other for years, they have endured a series of trials and hardships and impossible odds (I mean, come on! Helena erased Lucky's memory and he forgot he even loved Elizabeth, how does one bounce back after THAT???) to be together and they are now finally embarking on that "Happily Ever After." There is a great sweetness to it and the writers wrote it real. The first night they moved in together, Elizabeth's kid is teething and screams all night long. So long romance, hello real life, and yet - ahhhhh - and yet they find they are still deliriously happy just to be together, crying baby aside. It just melted me when Liz said "I didn't know I could be this happy on 3 hours sleep." Precious.

Lots of comedy this week, Courtney locks herself out of her hotel room on her wedding night in her lingerie, Skye tricks Coleman into calling Tracy an old cow within her earshot, Coleman and Courtney get locked in an elevator together - all fun and enjoyable stuff.

Less enjoyable was watching Reese have flashbacks about a bad car accident in her past, as it hit too close to home. But let's be super sleuths together, ay? If you were paying attention and heard all of the "Caroline's" you can put two and two together - well let's just say who do we know that came to town calling herself Caroline???? But for the sake of my Spoiler Sensitive readers like RicK I will leave it at that.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Coleman win Tracy back by offering her Daisy's old costume and a dancing job? Will Luke ever remember he has a child and go visit Lulu ? Will anyone notice that Lucas isn't graduating with all the other kids his age? Has Rosie been sucked up into the 4400 spacecraft? Will Sam be able to woo Jason AND win Dancing With The Stars? Will Ted King close his eyes and pretend he's making out with Tamara Braun in the Honeymoon Scenes?

Only tomorrow knows dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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