It was a week filled with shocking twists and turns, shake-ups, and surprising reveals.
Until Thursday, I was convinced that Duke Lavery had returned and that Luke was suffering from paranoid delusions brought on by the green-eyed monster. However, that all changed in an instant during a scene, which ironically was a dream come true for a any Duke and Anna fan like me. It was like having ice-cold water thrown in your face during a wonderful fantasy. I practically heard the screech of the needle as it skidded across the record.
Before I delve into that, I would like to address something that my esteemed colleague, Jennifer Biller, said about Duke in her column last week.
I have the utmost respect for Jennifer, and love reading her column. She is witty, insightful, and on a personal level, a very nice and gracious lady.
However, I couldn't disagree more about Duke. Duke was a gangster who was perfectly capable of holding his own in a fight. Sure, Duke occasionally wore a kilt, but I didn't find him any less manly or brawny than any of the other men walking around with jeans and boots. Thanks to my German father, I spent quite a few years living in and traveling around Europe, so I was used to seeing men in lederhosen, kilts, and various other traditional garb. It's just a respectful nod to one's heritage and a way to pay homage to your roots.
Men in kilts are a-okay with me. I'm also pretty partial to matadors, but that's for another day.
Masculinity is subjective, and we all have different definitions of what it means, but I adored Duke Lavery back in the day. He was the original Edward Cullen in a world of Jacob Blacks -- and I'm a Team Edward gal all the way.
Fast-forward to present day. Duke's suave sophistication is still there, but now there's an edge of evilness to it. I was able to ignore it right up until he and Anna were in the hotel suite on their anniversary and Duke offered to cook something special for Anna the next time that they got together.
Duke: "I cannot vouch for the cuisine. You know, next time, I'll probably cook it myself."
Anna: "Oh, that's right. Yeah. I was so surprised when I met you at the policeman's ball -- that the man in the elegant tuxedo is also a chef."
Duke: "Do you remember this, as well?"
There was something decidedly calculated and deliberate about the way he kept talking about their past. Duke seemed to confirm my suspicions when his façade momentarily slipped. His eyes twinkled with satisfaction, as a sinister smile flashed across his face when Anna admitted that she did remember. It was a classic "Gotcha" look.
I had been asking myself what could have driven Duke to kidnap Robin and put Anna through the emotional torture of grieving for her child. I just couldn't see the Duke that I had known and loved twenty years ago doing that to Anna. I was further bothered by Duke's complete lack of remorse for putting Anna through something as awful as losing a child, especially after she had lost two other children in the past, including his baby. The Duke that I remembered would have been tormented with guilt.
We know so little about the twenty years that Duke has been missing. What nuggets we've been given have been bad, very bad.
I find it curious that Duke had objected so strongly to having his DNA tested. If he's the real Duke, he wouldn't have any reason to fear it, so why not simply agree? Leave it to Luke to make it a non-issue by plucking several strands of hair from Duke's head. Luke telling Anna, "Oh, relax, he's got hair to spare," was hands-down the funniest line this week. I wonder how many times it took them to do that scene without cracking up.
I don't care where Luke has that DNA test done; Duke will find a way to tamper with the results. Turns out, he's quite proficient at sneaking around General Hospital. According to the show on Friday, he's been doing it since December 2011.
Finally, there is "Duke's" master plan. Why would Duke want Sonny's money? Didn't Jerry pay Duke a huge chunk of money for the cure to the illness that had slowly been killing Jerry? That eighty-eight million that had been transferred to Jerry's account disappeared, so it's entirely possible that Bernie had arranged for that money to be sent directly to Duke or to an account that Duke had access to.
To me, it's no longer a matter of whether the man claiming to be Duke Lavery is Duke, but rather who is impersonating Duke Lavery. Who could have a grudge against Sonny and an obsession with Anna? Only one name springs to mind...Caesar Faison.
It is entirely possible that Faison had his face surgically altered to look like Duke. Luke mentioned that Helena was in the wind when he returned from Europe after seeing Robert and visiting Ethan. Helena and Faison were in cahoots when they staged Lucky's fiery death, so kidnapping Robin is right up both of their alleys, especially with Jerry carrying out the orders. I have to confess, I really do hope that this is the direction that the writers are going in, because it makes the most sense, and I desperately miss my Hell's Bells, Helena. She's one of my all-time favorite villainesses.
I had also missed Diane, but to my surprise and utter delight, Diane returned this week. I'm happy to report that she's better than ever and a welcome sight. I grinned like an idiot the entire time that Diane was on my screen and for several heartbeats afterwards. Then Carly started to talk, and I went from grinning to wanting to throw my TV brick at the flat screen in three seconds flat.
I wish someone would just slap Carly into next week. What in blazes was she thinking when she demand that Todd swear to her, on his daughter's life, that he was telling Carly the truth about not being involved in the baby switch? In front of a cop, no less. In an interrogation room. After he had been Mirandized. Never mind that Todd has the right not to incriminate himself, but what kind of person asks another to swear on their child's life? That's just plain wrong and a boundary that no one should ever cross. Kids are off-limits. Period.
Shame on Carly for even asking that of Todd. She gives me a headache.
Speaking of headaches, I guess crazy gives you superhuman strength, because Heather threw herself off of the hospital's rooftop and lived to talk about it...literally. Even more astounding, she only had a little cut near her temple, even though she had face-planted on a tiny patch of grass after falling fifteen stories or so. They must have some really soft grass in that courtyard, because she didn't break a single bone in her face. Internal injuries, yes, but the only significant break was a spinal fracture that they were able to operate on. Amazing, huh?
Then again, Katherine and Anthony fell from the parapet at Wyndemere and survived, so I guess it's not that far-fetched in Port Charles. As Luke and Tracy recently noted, "In this town, nobody dies."
On Friday's Soap Central Live, guest columnist Lynda Hirsch warned us to get our hankies ready because next week is going to be a tearjerker that will touch everyone's heartstrings. If Jason's shooting at the end of Friday's show is anything to go by, I believe it.
Jason saved baby Danny, the most precious little baby boy on TV right now, from certain death by ripping him out of Heather's clutches as she fell. Brava, GH casting. They hit a home run with that absolutely adorable baby.
Sam's anger melted away like butter on a hot summer day as Jason revealed that her son was alive and then proceeded to rescue him. Sam was so moved by all that Jason had done that she decided to name her son after her beloved late brother, Daniel, and Jason's rascally old grandfather, Edward. Daniel Edward immediately bonded with his parents, so Jason and Sam returned to the penthouse and had about 20 minutes of happily-ever-after bliss before Jason was lured to his death by turncoat Bernie.
I'm happy that Bernie was blackmailed into helping the Dukelgänger. I wouldn't have bought it any other way. Only the threat of losing his family could have made Bernie betray Sonny and Jason.
I know it looks bad for Jason, shot and bleeding on the edge of the pier with his arm dangling in the water, but things have looked bleaker than that for other characters, only for them to be walking around hale and hearty. Just look at Anna. She blew up on Faison's boat and disappeared for over a decade before she resurfaced in Pine Valley.
On soaps, looks really can be deceiving, so I'm not counting Jason out until he's decapitated and a vital organ, like a heart, is donated to someone we know. Horrific as all of this is, the stage has been set perfectly for A.J.'s return, which is guaranteed to be fraught with drama, especially on the heels of the golden child's tragic and violent end...for now.
Elsewhere in PC, Dante decided to get his "Olympic swim team" checked, in case there were a few belly-floppers quietly lurking amongst his champion swimmers. The scenes with Epiphany teasing Dante by urging him to fill the cup up, and then jokingly noting how quickly he got the job done, were absolutely hilarious.
However, it was in vain, because Lulu was told that she couldn't have a baby. I'm not sure why that is, because Dr. V. clearly stated that fertility was not an issue. I am a little surprised, though, that Lulu seems so ready to accept the diagnosis. There was a time that Skye and Sam had been told the same thing, yet they each went on to have a baby.
Unless Lulu's uterus fell out of her without her noticing it, shouldn't she get a second, third, or even fourth opinion before announcing with such finality that she can't have children? I certainly would.