Everyone has that one person on a soap that they absolutely despise, that person who grates on their nerves and inspires thoughts of violence. For me, that person is Carly. I have never liked her, and I doubt that I ever will. She's a huge hypocrite, a jealous shrew, and a vindictive liar who only cares about herself. I could go on, but I think that you get my point.
I was not at all surprised when Carly loomed in the doorway of Kelly's and snidely told Skye to go back to Pine Valley and stay there because Skye was not welcome in Port Charles. Nor was I surprised when Carly slapped Skye because Skye decided to give Carly a taste of her own medicine by accusing Carly of being the "slut of Port Charles." Carly has always been one to dish it out, but not take it, like most bullies.
In typical Carly fashion, Carly denied that she had started the brawl in Kelly's, even though she did by accusing Skye of not being a Quartermaine. Best comeback ever was Skye's response of "I'm as much of a Quartermaine as Michael is a Corinthos."
Carly continued to add fuel to the fire by telling Skye that Skye had been sired by a sideshow carnie who had banged Skye's mother in the sawdust. I guess Carly forgot that she herself is the product of her teenaged prostitute mother "banging" a john.
Anyway, I was sitting on my sofa and hating Carly like I usually do when Ron Carlivati did something that freaking blew me away. In the blink of an eye, he made Skye and Carly allies against a common foe, Lorenzo Alcazar, when they saw the society page featuring an article about Tomas and Blair's wedding, complete with a great big picture of the happy couple.
Quick question: If you lived a secret life as an international arms dealer, why in blazes would you allow your picture to be printed in a newspaper?
Bonehead move aside, I think that it was a brilliant twist on Ron's part. For years, there had been hints that Alcazar might be alive, even though we saw Jason enter his home and heard the muffled shots from Jason's silencer as he pumped a couple of bullets into Lorenzo.
No doubt, most are wondering how it would be possible for Lorenzo to have survived the shooting. I have a theory. If Lorenzo/Tomas worked for the CIA, how difficult could it have been for an operative, including Lorenzo/Tomas, to have slipped into Jason's penthouse and replace Jason's ammunition with blanks? As we have seen on countless occasions, people are able to access Jason's penthouse simply by opening the door.
Plus, Jason never really made it a secret that he kept his gun conveniently hidden right there in the living room/foyer, so it would take less than a minute to accomplish the deed.
The Lorenzo/Tomas twist also paves the way for the eventual reveal that Todd did not kill Victor as everyone, including Todd, believes. I have long suspected that Allison Perkins, Victor's captor who was seen reading to him while he was tied to a bed during the final scene of OLTL, was part of the rogue CIA agency that Todd and Victor's lunatic of a mother, Irene Manning, ran.
Don't get me wrong, I still don't like Carly, but I don't hate her either. I thoroughly enjoyed the scenes when Carly and Skye marched over to Manning Enterprises to have a chat with Todd about Tomas. I loved Todd's reaction when he realized that his prayers for Blair to drop-kick Tomas out of her life had been answered. It's exactly how I would have reacted if I had won that half a billion-dollar Powerball jackpot this week.
The unlikely trio of dysfunctional Avengers immediately hopped onto Todd's jet plane and promptly flew to Llanview to share the news with a disbelieving Blair and Téa. Téa's argument, that she certainly would know her own brother, only confirmed to me that Tomas was indeed Lorenzo Alcazar. Why? Because any seasoned soap viewer can tell you that when someone is certain about something, then they end up being very wrong.
Naturally, another catfight broke out while they awaited Tomas' arrival, but this time between Blair and Skye. In a surprising turn of events, it was Carly who had helped to pull Skye away from Blair and then had led Skye to the playroom to blow off some steam.
Meanwhile, Todd sat on the sidelines watching everything play out with a huge grin on his face as he munched on a bowl of treats that he had pilfered from Téa's coffee table. He's such a typical guy.
I love the chemistry between Skye, Todd, and Carly. Please, Ron, keep them like this. It makes Carly so much more tolerable to me, and the dialogue between them as they snipe at each other, while working towards a common goal, is pure entertainment. Plus, as much as I dislike Carly, I do think that she needs a friend. Skye is the type of person who wouldn't let Carly walk all over her like Olivia does.
Before I move on, I would also like to thank Ron for letting Téa at least acknowledge that what Todd did by switching the babies had not been done out of malice. It was wrong, and Blair made a great point that it was a lot like what Todd had done to Blair after Jack's birth, but Todd had been laboring under the illusion, thanks to Heather's manipulative ways, that he was doing both Sam and Téa a favor.
Elsewhere in Port Charles, Michael was stunned when he discovered that Sonny had kidnapped Connie and held her prisoner in the coffee warehouse, while some idiot doctor tried to draw Kate out through hypnosis. I'm not sure why Michael was so shocked, given that Sonny is a mobster and has a history of abducting people, but I do get why Michael was outraged.
Sonny is supposed to love Kate. Why would he treat her like that? I don't blame Sonny for wanting to get Kate help and frankly, I don't blame him for taking matters into his own hands and kidnapping her, so that she can get the treatment that she needs, but to tie her to a chair in a warehouse? I agree with Connie; it was inhumane and very wrong.
Sonny owns a private island where he is the law, and everyone who works and lives there answers to him. Couldn't he have had Kate flown to the island and arranged for a qualified doctor to treat her there? At least that kind of setting might have been more conducive for hypnosis. Angering Connie only makes her stronger.
There was a time that I enjoyed Connie's spunk, but I've grown weary of her. More importantly, I've grown very tired of this storyline. I love Ron's writing, but there are so many issues with this storyline -- starting with the fact that Connie's legal name is Kate Howard, so her marriage to Johnny can't possibly be valid, and no judge would take the word of a psychiatrist who claims that the alter personality is the host personality without so much as a single session -- that is downright insulting to our intelligence. I'd much rather see Kate receive proper treatment and have a blending of the personalities.
I'd also like to see some resolution between Kate and Trey before Eric Valdez leaves the show because I've grown to like him. By the way, who else is hoping that he takes Kristina with him? The actress is beautiful, but she simply is not cut out for soaps.
In other news, Tracy got hosed. It kind of serves her right because she selfishly expected Edward to leave everything to her. Yes, Edward loved Tracy, but he also loved the rest of his family, so naturally he would want everyone to have a piece of his pie. That Tracy would complain about the rest of the family inheriting part of Edward's vast wealth only proves to me that she doesn't deserve to inherit anything. That said, I suspect that she inherited far more than she realizes with that jar of Lila's Pickle-Lila relish.
Heather's claim that she knows something that the Quartermaines don't know is a strong indication that this isn't the last that we've heard of Edward's will.
I had to chuckle at Tracy's reaction when she realized that A.J. had also inadvertently snagged a portion of the inheritance because of the wording of Edward's will, which stipulated that each of his grandchildren would get 12% of his shares. I'm also a little relieved to discover that A.J. is not a completely reformed bad boy.
I don't like when soap characters are all good, because it makes them boring. A dash of bad adds a little spice, so I don't mind him plotting to move against Tracy. I also don't mind how A.J. talks about Sonny to Michael. A.J. has every right to despise Sonny and Carly because, no matter how much they loved Michael, they were awful parents to that boy. Every moment of Michael's life was spent being in danger from the type of people who solved their problems through murder and mayhem. We have laws because we strive to be a civilized society.
Yes, the Quartermaines aren't exactly paragons of virtue. They, too, are ruthless and not above white collar crimes, but good, bad, or indifferent, A.J. is Michael's father. I would think that Sonny, more than anyone, would get that A.J. had a right to be a part of Michael's life because Sonny was denied the opportunity to be a part of Dante's life when Olivia decided that Sonny didn't deserve to be a father because of Sonny's lifestyle.
My hope is for Sonny and A.J. to make peace for Michael's sake. Okay, I confess that part of the reason why I would like to see that happen is because it would make Carly's head explode.
Dear readers, a friend of mine raised a great point about Ellie's reaction to finding that wedding picture of Maxie and Spinelli. Why would a brilliant person like Ellie assume that Maxie and Spinelli were still married when Maxie is in the midst of divorcing Matt? It didn't make sense, but it did pave the way for an absolutely hilarious remark when Ellie made it clear that she wasn't interested in being anyone's sister-wife.
The confrontation reassured me that Spinelli does genuinely care for Ellie and chose her not out of a sense of obligation but because she is the right choice for him. I thought that it was quite touching when Spinelli explained his reasons for wanting to be with Ellie and confessed that he finally felt free to be himself, instead of running around in circles trying to get Maxie's attention. Spixie were great in their day, but their time has passed. I like this calmer more mature version of Spinelli.
Sadly, I fear that Olivia's vision of Lulu holding a stuffed dog/wolf baby does not bode well for Ellie and Spinelli. I suspect that the baby in Olivia's vision was an indication that Dante and Lulu would somehow end up with the Jackal's child. Either Maxie gets pregnant with Spinelli's baby or they adopt Spinelli's child after something tragic happens to Ellie and/or Spinelli. We'll have to see how this plays out, but that's my theory.
Olivia recently explained that her visions sometimes only made sense in hindsight, so they had to be viewed with an open mind.
Olivia mistaking Steve for Patrick is a perfect example. I think that Olivia saw Patrick instead of Steve because her psyche picked up the truth about Sabrina's fib of crushing on Steve, not Patrick. That brings me to the Bitch of the Week Award, which goes to Britt, who cruelly humiliated Sabrina during the Nurses Ball committee meeting by pretending to innocently out Sabrina's crush on Steve. Why can't Patrick see what a horrible witch Britt is?
I really hope that Liz decides to have a little chat with Patrick to let him know that Britt intentionally embarrassed Sabrina. It's clear that Liz has Britt's number.
Finally, I would like to say that I'm delighted that Helena has returned. I'm not sure why, or even if, Robert had reached out to her, but I love that she's back. Helena is one of those villains who I love to hate because she doesn't pretend to be anything but pure evil. I imagine that if anyone can put a crimp in Faison's plans, it's Helena.
Don't forget you can also share your opinions on our new 24/7 feedback line. Call 267.341.7627 and record your comments or questions, and they may appear here in a future column, or they could be played during our weekly all-things-soap radio show, Soap Central Live!