Now what would you pay?

For the Week of March 24, 2008
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GH Two Scoops: <i>Now</i> what would you pay?
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What does that have to do with GH? Nikolas just paid 10 million dollars for some pills to help him keep a tumor.

That line is in every single infomercial. They demonstrate some cheesy product, try to make you guess what the cost is, throw in some more cheesy products - like a glow in the dark vegetable peeler, or a device that flushes your toilet when you blink, and you are supposed to be so enormously enraptured by these valuable finds that you'd be willing to up the ante just for the incredible opportunity to touch one.

What does that have to do with GH? Nikolas just paid 10 million dollars for some pills to help him *keep* a tumor... And there wasn't even an infomercial to sell him on this ill-conceived course of action, just greedy Dr. Ian. Since I am somewhat soap savvy, I understand the true nature of this ridiculous storyline; Natalia Livingston's contract goes until May, thus they have to find a way to keep Emily on screen. Apparently the best idea that had was dragging out Nikolas' hallucinations until May. 10 million bucks to NOT be cured of a brain tumor...this is hysterically funny to me right now. But, then again, that might be the Pinot Noir talking.

It's not funny at all that Carly and Jax lost their baby. In fact, I am downright livid about it. They made us watch for months while Jax and Carly tried to conceive, watched Carly taking pregnancy tests and walk away disappointed when they come back negative, saw her secret appointments with Dr. Lee, got us totally invested in the idea of Jax and Carly having a child together - then Kaboom. Its official now, Carly has miscarried as many times as she's given birth. At least no one pushed her down the stairs this time.

And yes, I know that's how it happens in real life. I just had friends who were anxiously anticipating the birth of their child and lost their baby. It's heartbreaking. But it happens far too often on GH. Liz lost a baby, Sam lost a baby, and Carly lost 2 babies along with a plethora of other women before them. Hey GH, how about letting poor Jax actually be a father?

I'm fairly certain Jax would be a better Dad than Sonny. I'm really interested in your take on this, dear readers - are you on Sonny's side or Jax's side in the parental debate over Michael? Should the police know that Michael accidentally shot Kate, and ran away because he was scared, or should his parents hide his involvement in it and try to handle counseling him on their own?

Patrick could use some counseling, too. He's said all along that he doesn't want to be a father - but now that Robin is pregnant with his baby, he's rethinking it. Carly's miscarriage impacted him in a real way as he has realized that if Robin lost their baby, he would be sad - he has become attached to it somehow. He honestly didn't expect that to happen. I was delighted to see Robin lighten up a little bit this week - I wanted to slap her last week and I've never slapped anyone in my life.

In another violent impulse, I wanted to shake Claudia when she agreed to transport Ian's drugs through Port Charles right after vowing to Sonny that they wouldn't run drugs through Port Charles. Not just because she lied to Sonny, but because I was starting to like her and now she's just a drug dealer which makes me not like her at all. All the compassion I was beginning to feel for her character evaporated with one drug deal. I prefer criminals like Sonny and Jason. While they obviously do horrible things, at least they have drawn some line in the sand "No, we will never sell drugs." They stand up for something. Claudia has now shown us she has no sexual morals, and she has no morals that would keep her from smuggling drugs which could end up in the hands of children. Not to mention the way she treated Robin when she found out she was HIV positive. So, Claudia is off my list. I'm done caring about her character.

As I write this, today is Easter. I have already been up and to a sunrise church service in the gorgeous Balboa Park in San Diego. I noticed that since they killed off all the Quartermaine's we no longer have a family in town that celebrates or makes plans for Easter. No Easter Egg Hunt in the park, no mention of Easter baskets for Michael, Morgan, Molly, Kristina, Spencer, Jake or Cameron. I turned 47 yesterday and I made Easter baskets this morning for myself, my husband and one of our friends who is coming for dinner. I think the denizens of Port Charles could use a trip to church that wasn't for a funeral. But hey, that's just my opinion. (btw, the Pinot was from last night, I did NOT start drinking at 6 am, just to clarify. )

Of course, Monica may have considered church, but she's been too sloshed to focus. Jason now knows that Liz is innocent of the hit and run incident involving Sam, but his own Mother was the culprit. Sam made a big show of letting Elizabeth off the hook in front of Lucky, but only after Elizabeth threatened to expose Sam's own sins in court. Sam has decided that she wants Lucky back, and it appears the feeling is mutual. But Liz looked almost...jealous? Can it be that she wants Lucky back? Jason after all had an easy out from the mob when his hands were out of commission, but he opted to make sure he got back in shooting form. Elizabeth has to be disappointed that he chose to chase after a gun ready grip instead of after her and Jake.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Johnny go back to the mental ward and peel the love song off the padded wall? Will Logan still have perfect hair under the bandages when they come off, or will there be a bald spot? Will Sam change out of the Devo/straitjacket outfit when she finally leaves the hospital? Will Diego get proper credit for all the cool bombs he set up apparently at the same time he was rerouting the air ducts in the sewer? Will Randy's body float up on shore with Ric's number in his pocket? Will anyone be able to explain to me why Marianna's face was covered in black ashes but no one else was? Will anyone write a little ditty 'bout Max and Diane?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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