John Tucker Must Die

For the Week of March 17, 2008
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GH Two Scoops: <i>John Tucker Must Die</i>
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I wanted to call this column 'Sonny Corinthos Must Die' but I figured I'd get a bunch of hate mail and half of you wouldn't even read past the title!

I wanted to call this column "Sonny Corinthos Must Die" but I figured I'd get a bunch of hate mail and half of you wouldn't even read past the title, so I chickened out and used the movie title instead. But bear with me...

I saw a soap magazine this week with the cover "One of these people will die!" and I was glad that Sonny was one of the possibilities. I daydreamed about it a little. I did an "It's a Wonderful Life" fantasy in my head about what Port Charles would look like without Sonny Corinthos poisoning the atmosphere. I used to love Sonny, but lately, I really detest him. Why? Fir starters he's had poor Johnny Zacharra locked up for days in a padded cell with no food and water, and when he found our soulful pianist using his Sharpie to write love songs on the wall during his captivity, Sonny threatened to cut his fingers off. He's just not a nice guy anymore.

Is Sonny off his meds as some have suggested? Who knows, they haven't mentioned his bi-polar condition for nearly a year, so I guess it's anyone's guess. That would at least be a storyline if they raised that issue on the show. But what if Sonny's just a cold hearted jerk? If Sonny were gone from the canvas Michael and Morgan could be raised by Step-Dad and ultra nice guy Jax and not be tempted to buy guns and bullets, Jason could raise his son with Elizabeth, Kate could go back to having elegant parties in art galleries in Manhattan and dressing in designer outfits, Mike could stop chasing Sonny around begging for forgiveness for another decade of his life and maybe date Bobbie or Monica in the spare time he had now that he doesn't have to grovel at Sonny's feet. Max and Milo could get jobs where they are treated respectfully, Ric could live his life without revenge fantasies, Trevor could take Anthony and go back to NY, and Johnny and Claudia could stay in Port Charles and start healthy lives and relationships -maybe even get some counseling, Alexis could stop being neurotically worried about Kristina, and Diana might actually win Litigator of the Year if she had a more respectable client list..

Without Sonny, Robin and Patrick would get more airtime, Lucky and Sam, Liz and Jason, Carly and Jax, Luke and Tracy, Spinelli and Maxie, Lulu and...Johnny or Logan, Monica's alcoholism, could all be fleshed out into real storylines without the constant mob storylines taking over the show. I'm sick of all the guns and explosions and threats and fistfights and turf wars and battles for territory and crime. We're in the middle of a war for real - I see plenty of dead bodies on the nightly news and in my newspaper.

Give me some romance and drama and fantasy. I'm hungry for something, anything that MOVES me. Stone's battle with AIDS moved me. BJ dying and Maxie getting her heart moved me. Laura coming out of her coma and rediscovering her grown children moved me. Patrick and Robin coming to terms with an unplanned HIV laced pregnancy moves me. Nerdy Spinelli and angry Maxie connecting moves me. Sam trying to redeem herself from her past behavior moves me. Epiphany growing closer to Cassius moves me, Nikolas with Emily lingering between Earth and Heaven and hearing his baby say 'Daddy' and bringing him back to Earth moved me.

I am not moved by Sonny beating up and kicking a young man threatening to chop off his fingers. I am not moved by Sonny and Trevor threatening each other. I am not moved by Sonny talking to his supposed best friend Jason like a dog, with utter disregard for his condition, as Jason lies in the hospital with mummy bandages on both hands possibly never to regain use of them. Sonny showed zero compassion for his ailing supposed "brother."

This is no reflection on Maurice Benard. He's an incredible actor and a genuinely fine person who has put his soul on the line for this character time and time again. But Sonny is being written so darkly now, it's hard to feel sympathy or understanding for the things he does. Once Sonny realized that Michael probably ran away, he should have let Johnny go, just on principle. If he took Johnny at the outset because he believed the Zacharra family had Michael, it would stand to reason that he should let Johnny go when he learned that wasn't the case. (I am dying to talk politics here, but will control myself.) Sonny should be worried about Jason, and instead he told Jason (in so many words) that he should have let Sam and Liz die in that car rather than chance messing up his trigger finger. What a selfish jerk.

Things are only getting more bleak -Diego's bomb just went off in the warehouse on the docks when half of the city was down there. Who suffered the greatest blow. Was it Carly and Michael? Or was it Sonny, Claudia, and Johnny? Perhaps it was Trevor and his gunman? Marianna, her presumed dead abuser, and Ric? We won't know until Monday I guess. As Tom Petty warned us, the waiting is the hardest part.

I suppose I don't really want Sonny to die, but I do want him to change. I want him to look at his son Michael and deliberately walk away from his life of crime. I want him to start importing coffee for real, and leave the crime to Trevor. People can change for the sake of their kids. Men can clean up their acts to save their children. I've seen it happen. I hope it happens for Sonny.

Sometimes you get the choice to change, and sometimes change chooses you...Sam was fired from Everyday Heroes. Wow, I am perplexed to hear that she JUST got fired as we haven't seen her go to work since Amelia left town. Hopefully she gets a lot of residual checks or she will have to give up that penthouse apartment with the hot tub on the roof. I doubt they would hire her back as the desk clerk at the Metro Court. Sam thinks she has lost everything, but can her relationship be salvaged? Is it possible for Sam and Lucky to work things out in spite of everything that's happened? I don't know. Lucky has been so hard on Sam for lying to him, but now he has opted to lie to her about Liz being the hit and run driver. He and Liz agreed to keep her supposed crime a secret so Sam won't trash their family and leave Jake and Cam motherless.

But, as usual, when anyone in Port Charles is having a highly confidential conversation about a life altering secret, Lucky and Liz weren't speaking in hushed tones behind closed doors, but in their normal street voices with the door wide open so anyone wandering by could hear their deepest darkest secret. And, again, as usual, the person they least want to hear said secret is lurking in the hallway eavesdropping - in this instance, Sam. Of course, all signs point to Monica being the real hit and run driver, but Sam heard with her own ears that Lucky is willing to lie for Liz and that will agitate Sam to no end.

Okay dear readers, help me out with this...What was the point of Spinelli's nudity this week? My guess is that the actor's been working out in the gym, and since Spinelli is always layered down in geek garb, he wanted America to know he had ripped pecs under the nerd disguise.

Lulu had her chance at Damian Spinelli, but cast him aside along with Dillon, and Milo to narrow it down to two guys - Logan, still comatose, and Johnny, possibly in the middle of a bomb blast. Scott and Lulu continue the trend of open door rants about very secret topics, and Luke is not going to take it lightly when he overhears Scott killed Rick Weber and let Laura take the fall. Lulu's guilt has her perched at Logan's bedside trying to will him to wake up, but so far, a few moving fingers is all she's got to show for it. Maybe he will wake up and have amnesia and Lulu can teach him to carve wooden ducks or something rustic like that just for fun.

Claudia sashayed her red heels over to Ric's house to try to cut a deal. She got a lot of time to work Ric since Snorianna stood him up as she was apparently out blowing Randy and his flannel shirt away instead of coming home to Ric. Hmmm. Maybe that bomb blast blew Marianna into the harbor and Claudia will have the path cleared for her to claim Ric. They both have been casually dismissed by Sonny, so if nothing else they have a mutual enemy to bind them together. Never underestimate the power of a mutual searing hatred to bind to beings together. My BFF Betsy (25 years and counting) and I started hanging out because we both wanted revenge on some jerk who cheated on us both.

Claudia is offering Ric his father's job, and saying yes to her means he could stick it to both Trevor and Sonny all in one fell swoop. Can Ric resist falling into the trap of his old vengeful ways again? The thought of a Claudia/Ric pairing really intrigues me, but I have a gut feeling Sonny isn't done with Claudia yet himself. Rumors abound that Kate will die, and if that happens, history may repeat itself with Sarah J. Brown bedding Maurice Benard in an unplanned moment of anguish and intensity.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Sonny drag Bugs and J.T, back into his office once he realizes they sold Michael the gun that shot Kate and make them pee down their legs again? Will Logan wake up from his coma and wonder why Lulu is rolling car parts around on his arm? Will Johnny remember the symphony he wrote on the wall and post it on YouTube as Padded Room Sonata? Will Monica and Tracy play keep away with the booze drenched silk blouse in the elevator again on Monday? Will Maxie forget that Spinelli is a geek now that she's seen his rippling chest muscles? Will Sonny insist Jason learns to hold a gun with his big toe now that his hands are mangled?

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